The experiences of a twelve-year-old Jewish child in Vienna in the winter of 1938/39 emerge from the following extracts of a series of letters.

February 1939

Dear Sister,

I have another big favour to ask you. I have received the following sad, deeply sad letters from Vienna. C. ten days ago I got one from a little girl who is almost twelve. I have told you about her already, she had come to England with her sister and was called back by a relative because the children of Martha (a cousin of her father) were very seriously ill. The little boy recovered, but the little girl of four, whose picture I once showed you, died. Leni has now written to tell me that the child has died and that Martha is refusing to eat and doesn’t want to see anyone, not even her little boy.

I wrote her a consoling letter and then yesterday received an even sadder one, also written by the girl. Martha is in hospital and has had a nervous breakdown, but not just as a result of the death of her little girl. She wrote the following: It has been very hot here in the last few days and in order to cool down we had to spend a day and a night in the cellar. When we came back up again burglars had been there and stolen everything – money, linen, clothes, jewellery, even things belonging to the little boy – and that’s when Tante Martha had her nervous breakdown.

They only have what they were wearing at the time. So to my request. If you have anything your daughter really can’t wear any longer and anything you yourself don’t use then I can send it to Martha. It would be a big mitzvah 1Note 1: good deed and I am sure your husband will agree.

The girl now has to look after the little boy. She spends the day with friends and at night sleeps alone with the boy in the flat. Isn’t this a terrible tragedy? ...

Vienna, February 1939

Dear Frau Z.,

I take the liberty of thanking you very sincerely in the name of my Tante Martha for the parcel. My Tante is very ill and is in hospital. But first I would like to introduce myself to you so you know who I am. My late father and Tante Martha were cousins. I am eleven and a half and my name is Leni and am now always going to stay with my Tante because my Mama also died a few weeks ago. I will keep the parcel safely until Tante Martha comes home. Then she will write to you herself. She got sick because she was very agitated. In October my Papi died, six weeks later my Mami. Onkel Jacob disappeared last May and I can’t tell you where he is because I don’t know. In January Sonja died, Martha's little girl. She was four years old. But Tante Martha has another child. He's called Hans and is one and a half years old. Now something else has happened, I can’t tell you everything, it was all too much for my Tante. She has often told me about you and is very fond of you.

She always spoke so warmly about you. And she showed me pictures of tantet you and your little daughter. So once again many thanks and warmest greetings from Leni and Hansi. I am going to the hospital tomorrow, I hope my Tante will be able to write to you herself.

Vienna, 10th March 1939

My dear good Tante

I received your kind letter. And thank you very much for letting me call you Tante. I am very fond of you and Tante Anna because Tante Martha likes you so much. Unfortunately she is still very ill and can’t write to you herself. Hansi and I are staying with a woman in the same building. I don’t want to look after Hansi any more. He's very naughty. He won’t let me wash and dress him. He bites me and scratches me all the time and cries for his Mama. I go to school. The teacher likes me a lot. The things you sent will fit Tante Martha because she has got very thin. They are too big for me, but Tante Martha will sort everything out for me when she's well again...

Vienna, March 1939

Dear good Tanterle 2Note 2: auntie

Your card arrived yesterday. I can’t give you the address of the hospital. Dear Tante, I will tell you the truth, although Tante Martha has told me not to. She was in the District Court in January. What Tante Berta wrote is true, that burglars were here and stole everything. In the heat of the moment my Tante said some unfortunate things, which is why she has had this misfortune.

I can’t describe everything to you as it happened, you would have to see it with your own eyes to understand it. I wouldn’t have written to you about all this if you hadn’t asked me for the address of the hospital. Tante Martha mustn’t know that I have told you the truth and Tante Berta also. I visit her every Wednesday. I am sending you a note which she slipped me. Once more, please don’t tell anyone that you know everything.

Lots of kisses Leni.

Please don’t send me any more cards because the lady I live with reads everything.

Thank you very much for the beautiful things. Best wishes and kisses Martha. I am in hospital and can’t write anything else.

Vienna, March 1939

Dear Tante

I am sending you a letter from my Tante. Hansi is now spending his time with Frau F. until my Tante comes home again.

Lots of kisses from Leni.

From prison, March 1939

My dear good Täntchen3Note 3: auntie

Yesterday my little Leni was here with me and admitted to me that she has told you the whole truth. Dear Tante, will you now think ill of me? I don’t know if Leni told you everything in detail, I can’t talk much to her here. They took everything away from us and we just stood there with nothing more than clothes we were wearing. In the heat of the moment I said some words I shouldn’t have and that’s why I've been here for the last three months. Please don’t think ill of me as a result. After all, dear Tante, your brother was also here for 13 weeks last year, as you know, and that didn’t make him a bad person. Thank you thousands of times for the lovely things. If I didn’t have them I would have to wear the same dress all the time. They fit very well, although the shoes are rather large, but I can still wear them. You can’t imagine how happy I was about everything you sent and above all because they came from you.

I am always thinking of you. Please don’t be angry that Leni told you I was in hospital, I was too embarrassed to tell you the truth. Please don’t tell Tante Berta anything about this. Even though I'm here I'm not despondent and I hope that I will soon be able to be with my little boy again. Leni is a good child and if I didn’t have her I would be completely alone. For this reason I will always keep her close to me. I would be very happy if Leni could bring a letter from you on Wednesday. She comes and visits me every Wednesday. A thousand greetings and kisses

Your Martha.

Very best wishes to your husband, daughter and to Tante Anna.

I am sending you a picture of me. It was taken here and isn’t very good. I'll give the letter to Leni. I hope it arrives safely. Once again, please don’t tell Berta anything about this.

Vienna, April 1939

Dear good Tanterle

I received your letter. I haven’t got the parcel yet, but they always take longer. I will write to you as soon as it arrives. This time it wasn’t possible to include a letter from Tante Martha. Onkel was watching too carefully. She isn’t allowed to write or receive letters. Dear Tante, you say we should put our faith in God. I don’t believe in God. Why has he punished us so harshly? I can’t begin to describe what we've been through. God has taken my beloved parents.

My brother was in the same rest home as your brother last year and died there. It’s the same home that our Tante is in now. The most terrible thing was that the burglars were here and took everything away from us. At the time we [were] hidden in the cellar for three days and didn’t dare come out. Can one still believe in God in these circumstances?

Just look, dear Tante, at how badly Onkel treats us – I'm not allowed to go to the cinema, to the theatre, I'm not allowed to go to the park, some days I'm not allowed to show my face on the street. Isn’t that enough? I'm not quite twelve years old but sometimes I feel as if I'm 100 years old.

But I'll stop now or you'll get angry. Hansi now spends all his time with Frau F., she gets 15 Marks a month for him from the Gemeinde and I eat in the girl’s refuge. Hansi is very naughty but a cute little scallywag. I'm sending you a picture of him. He didn’t want to stand still so we tied his hands to the railing. I photographed him. In the next letter I'll send you a photograph of me. My Tante has a lawyer. I don’t know what else I can write to you.

Your Leni.

Vienna, May 1939

Dear, dear Tanterle

I received your kind letter and read it with great pleasure. I am always so happy when you write to me. As far as the subject of God is concerned I want to ask you some time what you imagine him to be like. I know you'll tell me that God is an invisible force, but you have to believe in him all the same. Let me now give you a little example. If I wrote to you telling you that I have sent you 1,000 Marks, but you'd never receive it because the money remains invisible, would you still believe me? You'd tell me that you'd believe it when you see it. That’s what I say too. I only believe what I see. And you also say that you could tell me about many things you have seen. Dear Tante, you certainly haven’t seen the kind of things I've seen. But I'm going to change the subject or you'll get angry.

I think a lot about everything and say what I think. I'm sorry you've got such a weak heart. If I was there I could have taken the workload off you. I can already cook a bit. I can make coffee and I've also made Powidlknödel 4Note 4: plum jam dumplings. I am sending you a picture of me. I'm wearing everything you sent me. You'll laugh because I was photographed with the doll. I still like to play sometimes. Please don’t laugh at me or get angry with me. I'm pleased you're going to the Comité. Perhaps you can sort something out. I'd be very grateful if you could ... Please write to me again soon. Your letters are a real comfort to me. For today best wishes and a million kisses

Your Leni and Hansi.

Vienna, 15 June 1939

My dear good Tanti 5Note 5: auntie

Today a man came to visit and said you had written to the Kultusgemeinde that you hadn’t had any post from us since January. He also gave me a note for Tante Martha which I am sending you. I don’t understand why you haven’t received any post. I have written to you and I also sent you a picture of me. The man was very angry and said I was a stupid creature and that the Kultusgemeinde had better things to do than be pestered about things like this. Why haven’t you written to me? don’t you believe what I told you about Tante Martha? I will try to get a confirmation from them and then send it to you. But please don’t write to the Kultusgemeinde again. Please reply immediately so I know that you've got my letter and please also tell me whether you got my picture in the last letter. The one in which I am wearing the dress, pullover and cap which you sent me. Have you been able to make any enquiries in the emigration office about Tante Martha? Do émigrés get an Arbeitsbewilligung 6Note 6: work permit? Tante Martha is a qualified book binder. I will travel to New York and Tante Martha would leave Hansi here for the time being so she can work there. Please, please reply. I send a hundred thousand kisses.

Your Leni.

Please reply.

(The inquiry directed to the Vienna Kultusgemeinde by relatives in Holland was intended to ascertain whether the Kultusgemeinde knew about the fate of the family. Clearly they were not informed about it as demonstrated by the behaviour of the investigator and the note he handed over.)

To Martha X.

Your Tante, Frau Z. in A., requests that you write to her as she hasn’t heard from you since January of this year.

She has turned to us, the Vienna Kultusgemeinde.

15 June 1939

From prison, June 1939

My dear good Tante

Thank you very much for trying so hard to sort things out for me. I hope I will be able to leave here soon. Leni and Hansi are travelling to America. At the moment I can’t join them because I wasn’t registered with the American Consulate. However Leni has now registered me. But I have to wait for at least a year before I can travel. Please don’t turn for help to the Vienna Kultusgemeinde, we don’t want anything from people like that. They only support children under their own patronage. Leni has asked for help three times, she wanted to give me the money so that I could improve my situation, and they didn’t answer. I hope that I'll be able to go back home even without their help. I hope to receive an answer from you soon. Thank you very much for you kindness and I hope that one day I will be able to repay you for everything.

A thousand good wishes and kisses

Martha.

Vienna, June 1939

My dear Tante

I received your letter today. The man from the Kultusgemeinde asked me whether I knew you so I told him yes, I do know you. I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to do it. But I didn’t say that my Tante is in prison. That’s none of the Kultusgemeinde's business. I get food for myself and Hansi from the Jewish canteen and the woman with whom Hansi is living has only received 10 Marks for him on two occasions. Three times now I have submitted an application for support to the jüdische Fürsorge 7Note 7: Jewish Welfare on behalf of my Tante and haven’t had a reply. They always say there's no money. Do you really believe that the Kultusgemeinde cares about its own people? You could perish like a dog and they wouldn’t care. When I'm 14 I'm going to drop religion entirely.

Please don’t turn to the Kultusgemeinde any more, we don’t want to have anything to do with them. I'm going to New York, perhaps in two weeks even, and if Tante Martha agrees Hansi can come along as well. I'm travelling with a party. And Tante Grete is in New York. She invited us. Thank you for being so good to us. But you don’t need to worry about me and Hansi any more. If you could send Tante Martha an entry permit for Holland we would be very grateful to you. But first you will need to ask if she would be allowed to work there. Tante Grete has handed the matter over to a solicitor in New York and we hope that Tante Martha will soon be able to come home. So in the name of Tante Martha please understand that we don’t want to have anything to do with the Kultusgemeinde. Please don’t show the lady from the Comité this letter. Otherwise she'll write to the Kultusgemeinde and then we won’t even get any food. Perhaps the Comité could help Tante Martha by sending her something so that she can improve the quality of her food.

Now I'll answer your questions. My sister is seven years old and has been in London since December. My brother Julius was 18 years old and died in Buchenwald. I was twelve on 2 June and am still alive at the moment. My good Papi was 53 years old and died in October. Tante Martha won’t tell me what he died of. He was a police inspector until March 1938. My dear Muttilein 8Note 8: mummy had been ill for seven years and the death of my Papi was the end of her. She was 53 years old as well. My Papi was the cousin of Tante Martha. Papi's mother and Tante's Martha father were brother and sister. Now I've told you everything. When I have got away from here I will send you a nice card from America, and when I'm grown up I'll send you lots and lots of dollars. All best wishes and a million kisses.

Your Leni and Hans.

The food from the canteen is very bad. Not even pigs would eat it. That’s how much the Kultusgemeinde cares for its people.